Crisis of the family relations

Desire of two people to establish a family not always speaks about their readiness for so responsible step. The first period of joint life always seems ideal, however gradually between spouses disagreements begin to arise. It leads to crisis of the family relations that is connected with rather objective reasons. At newlyweds general views on many things were not developed yet. Spouses with "experience" also quite often face problems in the relations. Both people, and their ideas of vital values change over time.

Psychology of the family relations, crises

Practically each couple living together some time at certain vital stages faces crisis of the family relations. It is quite natural, the so-called "cell of society" represents a peculiar maturing organism. The same vital periods, as to any individual are inherent in it: neonatality, infancy, childhood, youth, maturity. Transition from one period to another is always followed by problems which affect not only the person, but also his close people.

In this regard in psychology of the family relations crises are, strangely enough, an indicator of forward development of matrimonial life. They demonstrate that couple reached some transitional boundary after which there come the next period or the relations stop. Preservation of a family at this rather difficult moment depends, first of all, on spouses, on as far as they are ready to mutual understanding.

Crisis of the family relations should not be considered something that occurs only once and does not repeat any more. Both in life of the certain person, and in life of a family, the events having rather critical effects happen not so seldom. On average each couple can face approximately five so-called transitional states which lead to this or that crisis of the family relations. The arising problems have a certain attachment to an experience of cohabitation of spouses.

Crisis of the family relations by years

Difficulties of mutual understanding between spouses are characteristic of certain transitional moments in joint life. According to psychologists, crises of the family relations by years are distributed as follows:

• First wedding anniversary. The origin of disagreements is banal – people take off "pink glasses" and see the second half in natural light. There is a certain revaluation of the relations as a result of which couple begins to learn to reach compromise or disperses;
• Three years of joint life. Once sublime feelings of spouses gradually begin to become dull, and appearance of the child and care of it promotes the wife's distance from the husband;
• Seven years from the date of the wedding. The main reason for crisis of the family relations during this period is their monotony and predictability. The child grows up that gives the chance to the woman to escape from four walls and to be engaged in career. As a rule, at this stage there is a real risk of treason, is more often – from the man;
• Fifteen years of matrimonial life. Once young lovers, the man and the woman become rather mature people by this time. The crisis of the family relations by years matching achievement by spouses or one of them of so-called middle age results from revaluation of vital values;
• Twenty years after the wedding. Despite so long term of cohabitation, this period it is rather critical. With leaving of the matured children spouses often have a feeling of "uselessness" each other.

How to overcome crisis of the family relations

Family is what is necessary for each person, the loneliness did not make anybody happy yet. If the man and the woman made once the joint decision to live together, they have to be ready not only to the pleasant moments of this coexistence, but also to periodically arising difficulties.

For preservation of the feelings it is very important to spouses to learn how to overcome crisis of the family relations. Problems arise during certain periods of life and have the different reasons. For their successful decision it is necessary to understand, than these or those difficulties in the relations are caused. It allows each of spouses to react to criticism of the partner adequately. However, despite modern "sexual equality", it is possible to note essential distinction between roles which they play in joint life.

Creation of a family is, more, the man's prerogative. It possesses the leading role in this process, the representative of a strong half of mankind, as a rule, chooses as the first the future partner and does it the offer. After the beginning of joint life of a role cardinally change. To keep a family and to understand how to overcome crisis of the family relations, more on forces to the woman. It can not only hold the man, but also push away him from itself.

Of course, to be painless through all vital difficulties, efforts of both partners are required. First of all, it is necessary to learn to listen and hear each other – it will allow to understand an essence of claims of each of the parties. It is not less important to be able to reach a certain compromise, only reciprocal concessions will allow to find recovery from the crisis of the family relations. Preservation of feelings is impossible without introduction into them of any fresh notes therefore it is important to avoid monotony in all types of the joint relations.

Family life demands from spouses of mutual understanding and respect for the half. The initial passion gradually gives way to deeper attachment based on love, tenderness, care. If all this is, to couple any crises of the family relations are not terrible. The woman as nature more flexible, than the man, in case of similar problems, is capable to play a leading role in their decision.