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Business mother: problems and ways of their decision

Ловушка первая - чувство вины
Trap the first - sense of guilt
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Most of women is sure that the best mother is that which devotes all the life to the child. For the lack of an opportunity to make it, to the woman sense of guilt comes. Leads it to the fact that it spends time which mother spends with the child not for full communication, and on atonement of sense of guilt, carrying out all desires of the kid and in everything to it повинуясь.
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First, you risk to grow up the egoist and to create at the child an image of mother as service personnel. Secondly, you risk not to give the rest much to the child, being guided only by his desires. The child, as a rule, reduces the desires to a visit of cafe of a fast food or visit of any attraction. And you can offer a visit of the museum, on an exhibition and many other things.
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If you are overcome by sense of guilt because of a lack of attention to the child, think that you not the robot, and the same person, as well as all others. To give all the time to the child – means not to lead own life, but also not each woman in general has such opportunity. Besides, the child feels much more happily if his mother – the taken place personality.
Ловушка вторая - недоверие к людям
Trap the second - mistrust to people
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Undoubtedly, control over behavior of the nurse or teacher of your child is necessary. But communication with the child should not come down only to clarification of these circumstances: "what was read today?", "what was done?", "why something was not made?", etc. One more frequent mistake in behavior of mother – to bring a maximum of the developing games in daily several hours of communication with the child, trying to compensate a lack of education.
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Over time you will notice that if earlier the daughter or the son willingly shared with you the progress and opening, then now for them it became in burden. Gradually between mother and the child alienation accrues, and the self-assessment of the kid can suffer: "time mother considers that I am brought insufficiently up, so I also really am bad". And besides the child just is tired of the infinite developing games and occupations.
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If you were convinced that the nurse or the teacher honestly fulfills the duties, relax. Also you should not extort nothing from the child – everything that he will want, he will tell you.
Ловушка третья - ревность
Trap the third - jealousy
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Sometimes it is heavy to mothers to observe how the kid is on friendly terms and is played with the nurse as he with pleasure remembers it. Here also traps danger to begin to spend free time not on having a good time with the child, and on trying to jump in all over the nurse: to tell more interesting fairy tale, to play more interesting game, to expose the nurse in the opinion of the child disparagingly.
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The jealousy yet added to nobody tranquility in soul. And the child thinly feels mood of adults and begins to be secretive. Or begins to play on your weakness, using the nurse name at those moments when he needs to achieve something from you.
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First, recognize that you were lucky with the nurse and it is good that it is pleasant to the child! Believe, many mothers with all the heart would envy you. Secondly, perhaps, it is worth addressing the psychologist and to find out why it seems to you that the kid loves the nurse more than you? You should not wait from the child of all-consuming love and to calculate that you will be able to replace to him all around.
Золотое правило
Golden rule
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Golden rule of busy mother: try to spend those short minutes and hours which you can devote to the child for what only you can give him.
Умейте слушать ребенка
Be able to listen to the child
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The child has to feel that you love him, understand and sympathize. And for this purpose first of all it is necessary to be able to listen to it. Do not interrupt the kid and only after the end of the story together discuss how it is better to arrive in this or that situation. Do not impose to the child the opinion, otherwise he will cease to share with you. Try to put yourself on its place better.
Покажите ребенку ваш мир
Show to the child your world
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Teach the child to see the world your eyes. It is important that you reached consent and mutual understanding on the vital questions. Acquaint him with the hobbies and values, show him the workplace. Make so that time spent with you passed interestingly.
Балуйте ребенка
Indulge the child
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The child not only it is possible, but also it is necessary to indulge. Allow it to sit sometimes longer with you after time to go to bed came. Buy a toy of which he dreamed long ago, from time to time allow to pass school … But do not cross a thin side. There is nothing bad that you prepare for the child tea with cake and you bear to it to the room. But not norm if the child considers that you are obliged to do it.
Не забывайте о себе
Do not forget about yourself
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Surely accustom the child to that, as you need to be indulged from time to time. Tell somehow: "Oh, as sweet a wish arose, run to me behind cake", "Bring, please, phone, so there is no wish to get out from under a plaid", etc.
Не бойтесь противоречий
Be not afraid of contradictions
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Be ready that even at the ideal relations between you and the child the periods of tension and mutual displeasure are inevitable. And business here at all not in your employment – in any relationship of it not to avoid. The main thing – find time to settle disagreements and to reconcile.

Whether you know that:

The weight of a human brain makes about 2% of all body weight, however it consumes about 20% of the oxygen coming to blood. This fact does a human brain extremely susceptible to the damages caused by shortage of oxygen.